In a young woman’s life, one of the most important languages to learn and master, is the language of love. This language is almost impossible to perfect, but, is probably what every girl strives to learn. As a girl looking for love, myself, I’ve come to the conclusion that trying to learn and communicate it just between words and body language, is almost as complicated as trying to order from McDonald’s in Spanish after only a few days of classes. In class and life there’s that unsettling feeling of not knowing what’s right or if the correct path has been taken. Unfortunately, when it comes to Spanish there is a right and wrong answer, but maybe the comprehension of how to come upon that answer is slightly blurry, just like the path to come upon our perfect mate. The whole process seems to be the guess and check method that was taught back in elementary school.
In 3rd grade there always seemed to be two love birds that got caught passing notes. Once they were opened by the teacher, because very rarely was no one caught, most would read, “Do you like me, check yes or no,” and this is where at a very young age we are taught to always find the answer to love, but an answer that seems so inexplicable. However, that one little note gave some sort of reassurance that we were on the right track. Yet, as I get older it makes me wonder how two people, who speak completely different languages, know when they’ve found love just by the way they interact with each other, and it’s almost more complicated to love someone who speaks the same language.
The world of dating and trying to find love runs parallel with the million ways to conjugate a verb. Is love more difficult to find being American and speaking English because our language is the hardest to learn? Or do we make it more complicated for ourselves? It seems so simple for everyone else. But here, we are in a country where people are forced to become the perfect spouse instead of being loved for who they already are. I, myself, own about a dozen books on relationships, and what guys are looking for, and I’m only 19 years old! From He’s just not that into you to The Game: Penetrating the secret society of pickup artists, these authors try to teach us the language of love and communication, but does it really work? Is it as simple as reading a book, and are answers going to be found? And is there a right and wrong answer when it comes to who pulls at your heart strings?
Once in a relationship, communication is key. Miscommunication is just about the same as speaking different languages, which in America we don’t seem to be very accepting of other cultures to begin with, so imagine what it would do to a relationship— train wreck. This is where problems occur and selective listening come into play. Even if both partners are speaking the same language, it would almost seem that if one is speaking English, the other is only hearing Spanish. At this day and age miscommunication is possibly one of the easiest things to come across. We have so many ways to communicate whether it be with our words, through a text message, email, instant message, or raw body language, there is always a way to misinterpret what point is really trying to be made. Almost any written form of communication has flaws because the words, the tone, the way the message was formatted may be taken in a negative way. Therefore always vocalize it.
When it comes to love, we all speak the same language, it’s the heart beat of each other. Whether we still guess and check, read books for advice, get caught up in a text message rumble, or misinterpret what others say, the beauty is, “I love you” means the same in every language, and that language, is one worth learning.
7 comments:
Really interesting connection between language and relationships. Of course we often talk about the "language" or "vocabulary" or even the "grammar" of something like love or music, but in the strictest sense these aren't really languages. Still, I think you make a really good point that the way our culture tends to communicate--individualistically, so that the most important thing one can do with language seems to be to tell one's own story for the sake of telling it--is related to the reason that so many relationships have trouble.
I think there's also an important point to be made that when we use the word "love" we often don't know what we're saying. Does "love" express affection, attraction, attachment, service, enjoyment, commitment, something else?
Your blog brings up very thoughtful points. I am too looking for love but am sometimes lost in my search. There are countless communication barriers that prohibit two people from understanding each other.. thus making relationships almost impossible. Although it is difficult to accept at times, I believe there is purpose to misunderstanding through communication in a relationship. It is all a test. Once we can get past the obstacles of our complicated language, we will find love. I'm up for the challenge!
You have a lot of interesting points brought up in your blog. Love is hard to find in this day and age and our communication could be to blame. People may say one thing but mean something completely different which is like the spanish-english complex you brought up. However people do find love these days and I know it can be done so somehow we must get over this challenge of communication.
Your blog is a perfect explanation for many peoples problems. Miscommunication has ruined many of strong relationships and, like you said, is just like speaking in a different language. We should be more accepting to both other cultures and for people just the way they are.
The connection you made between love and language is so true. It is very important for a couple to be able to communicate on many different levels; spirtually, romantically and many other ways. The way to a good relationship is through strong communication. This is very hard to do now in this time we live in now, but it should still be something we try to work on in our relationships.
I agree with the majority of the comments by recognizing the correlation of language and love or other emotions. Understanding love is like understanding another language. To have a relationship with someone it is necessary to get through the baggage that each person brings to it. In that same way, when learning a language, you must get over the complications of learning something you are unaccustomed to. Your blog writing really described that well.
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